What happened to Ms Independent?

on Sunday, December 23, 2007

When my second son started school I felt as if I was free to pursue a career again, I was so motivated and ready that I was chomping at the bit. And then the wonderful news that I was pregnant with a baby girl arrived. It was a surprise and the idea did take a little getting used to but I had always wanted a little girl so it didn't take me long to get (very) excited and start shopping for little pink babygrows. I'm not a youngster anymore and my body did take strain with a third pregnancy but our little angel is here now and we are all happier for it. Whatever plans I had it would just have to wait, in my mind this was much more important.

Yesterday for the first time I spent five hours away from my eight month old little angel, it was a strange feeling. I missed her so much and found myself thinking of her sweet smile as I was running around doing Christmas errands but on the other hand I reveled in the excitement of being busy and productive. My two older children needed me to participate in various activities with them so it was a busy morning. In the car on the way home 'Miss Independent' by Kelly Clarkson was playing and I couldn't help but reflect on the words of the song. What happened to Miss independent.....she went in a new direction ... she fell in love.

I love being at home with my children but I'm not really one for housework - entertainment is more my kind of thing so my children are never bored - I love to play. But housework is an essential part of daily life and so it has to be done. There are times when I feel that I exist only to serve other people and look at these 'supermums' with three kids and full time careers with envy - how do they do it? How do they manage to fit everything in and still keep everybody around them happy? Do they sleep at all? Are they for real or just something that the media has made up to make the rest of us think that this is the way we should be.

I had a conversation with a friend about being a working mum and how hard it can be. We discussed the complexities of juggling children, cleaning house and earning a living (all at once). We both agreed on how hard it was to choose between spending time with our children and financial independence, there just didn't seam to be enough hours in the day to achieve both. We had both realized that the only way we could possibly have everything we wanted would be to have an internet business and work from home. But where to start?

I am fortunate because my husband is an internet marketing genius and he works from home. When I first met him I didn't even know how to switch on a pc never mind have a discussion about whether I prefer Mac or Windows (I much prefer Mac by the way). He has taught me everything I know and I am still learning something new every day whether I like it or not! I have never really used the knowledge that I have acquired although I could, there has never been a need for me to step out of my comfort zone. Why should I when I am happily married and everything is ambling along just fine? I'm glad you asked - because I miss my independence. I have been raising children for the past ten years and I have another few years to go because my youngest is only eight months old. It has been so long since I felt that I was capable of being financially independent or that I could manage to look after my children if something had to happen to my husband. But the thought is there every day - when I have time to think.

I meet mums everyday who talk about how emotionally torn they feel because they want to spend as much time with their children as possible but they also need to earn an income. I feel that every mother should be able to run an online business from home. Why should we chose between our children and financial independence! We shouldn't!


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